The Glamorous Life of a Systems Engineer (SE)

Confessions of a Systems Engineer at End-of-Quarter

Hello World!

Welcome to the end of the quarter, where executives start sweating like their golf trip just got coded as a “non-essential expense”, and sales reps actually remember your name. This is when SEs transform from mild-mannered technical professionals into highly caffeinated, slightly feral creatures. Observe closely as the quarter winds down, and you will see many of the following behaviors in the wild.

The Sales Panic: Account Executives migrate back to their SEs, suddenly recognizing their existence. They typically arrive breathless, babbling about a “sure thing” – all they need is for you to whip up a last-minute architecture diagram, a competitive analysis, three customer references from the same industry, and maybe you will also need to personally hand-feed the prospect’s cat. All by Friday at 5:00 p.m.

The Quote Rodeo: You will be asked to re-run a seemingly dead quote. Then run it again because tariffs impacted the discount strategy. And then again because the prospect’s brother-in-law knows a guy at Cisco. You’ll generate more versions of this quote than Marvel did for superhero sequels.

The Meeting Explosion: Your calendar has ceased being a productivity tool and it is now just a cruel joke. There are sync meetings, forecast calls, “urgent” deal reviews, and occasional “War Room” gatherings where everyone repeats the same talking points, only louder. Meanwhile, your inbox completely explodes. And then there are all of the usual customer issues, complaints, and requests.

Executive Drive-Bys: Suddenly VPs, who couldn’t pick you out of a lineup, are very interested in all of your deals. “What’s the technical close plan here?” they ask. After staring at their spreadsheets, they make bold prophecies, like oracles on a mountaintop. “This deal feels like it’s coming in!” Sure, and Mercury is also in retrograde. Your role? Same as always: nod, pray, smile politely, while trying not to scream into your webcam.

The Big Finish: If, by some miracle, the deal closes, you’ll high-five your sales rep, pour something strong, and immediately erase all memories of how the sausage was made.

At the end of the quarter, your job isn’t to design new solutions, solve problems, or make customers successful. Your job is to duct tape the sales cycle together. So smile, wave, and remember: the next quarter wraps up in only 90 days.

Stay tuned for more nerdy columns about my experiences as an SE.